The pandemic has brought many aspects of mental health, not often previously addressed, in open conversation. The topic of teenage suicide that was not commonly discussed, is now often in the news. If you are the parent of a teenager, the following statistic is directed at you: there has been a 54 percent increase in suicide in the 10 to 24 age group between 2007 and 2020, and now (post-pandemic), suicide is the second leading cause of death among children 10 to 14 years old.
Indeed, the pandemic brought many fears of sickness and death to the minds of teenagers, but feelings of sadness, hopelessness and anxiety existed for our teenage population way before the pandemic.
Before you speak to your teenager about suicide you should have a clear understanding of their mental health. Are they smoking pot or experimenting with drugs, engaging in risky behavior, feeling hopeless, are familiar with someone who has attempted suicide, has access to a weapon or other means to promote self-harm? Do you as their parent or does a licensed professional feel they need psychological and/or pharmaceutical therapy, or are they simply experiencing the usual soundtrack of depression, anxiety, fears and loneliness that often accompany the teenage years? This conversation is a delicate one because, at the same time that teens need your support, they are trying to become an adult and separate and individuate from you, adding to their identity confusion.
In addition to having direct, caring, nonjudgmental and open communication with your teenager about their thoughts and feelings, you should encourage the development of friendships with their peers. Teenage relationships enhance their sense of belonging. By forming social connections they can feel less lonely and depressed. Your conversations with your teenager, guidance, love and support should try to give them the tools to cope with situations that make them feel anxious and stressed. Your teenager must learn to try to control negative feelings and difficult thoughts about themselves that come up in daily life and try to replace them with positive ones when possible.
Social connections are more important today, post pandemic, than ever before because today’s teenagers spend so many hours alone on social media, listening to music, or on their phones. None of these activities makes them feel better about themselves in the long run. Teens must get back to pre pandemic connection with friends, family, mentors and others.
Another time period that brings much anxiety to teenagers is the period of transition between high school and college. They need open communication with you in order to help alleviate academic and social stressors. The college process is more difficult, confusing and selective than ever. Kids want to please their parents, impress their friends and teachers but also find the right fit for college and worry about and then experience the emotional stress of starting college life away from you.
In your conversation with your teenager, you can be prepared to get some pushback. It is a fact that teenagers will try to define themselves by shocking their parents, by not wanting to accept family values, and sometimes, dangerously, wanting to end their lives because they are disenchanted with the way things are and feel that they either do not want to, or cannot cope with the world and its pressures as is. Sigmund Freud said that “adolescence is the decisive time of separation”, therefore, the pressures, contradictions and vulnerability of being a teenager are all part of the process of becoming an adult.
If you feel that your teenager is going through an especially difficult time, then you should connect with a therapist to guide you on ways to provide the necessary support.
Jackie is a supportive, collaborative and empathetic therapist who tries to look at life’s challenges with a sense of humor, and employs a practical approach to problem-solving. She encourages her patients to express their innermost thoughts and feelings in a safe and judgement free environment.
The Midtown Practice is a professional psychotherapy and psychiatry practice offering care across the lifespan. We treat those struggling with difficult emotions, psychiatric diagnoses, and/or other challenges associated with modern life. Our practice offers individual and group psychotherapy, couples and family therapy, as well as parent coaching. We provide psychopharmacology to children as young as six, and psychotherapy to individuals 12 and up. Together, our group of psychopharmacologists and psychotherapists are committed to helping our clients live with greater fulfillment, vitality and peace of mind.
